S: Restless

 There’s tension in my soul

 I feel it losing control

 And all I can do is ignore

 My heart it’s beating

 Not fast, not slow

 But I feel it tugging, keeping a hold

 Of what’s left

 Of this soul

 Questions arise

 For the depth of unknown

 And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do

 I close my eyes, thinking that I’ll grasp it for you

 Not only, are you in my life

 But now I’m slowly starting to realize that I

 Don’t want to lose you

 The old way that I was, picture it

 What I had been, better for it to fit

 My old habits, but this one is part of my personality

 Why can’t I loosen this tentious part of me?

 

 Listening to my own heart beat

 Hearing the music in the background

 My thoughts aren’t clear

 I need clarity

 When I close my eyes, I imagine

 Being connected, and now?

 I don’t feel a thing but I know it’s there

 And it makes me sad to think

 Future. Please define thee

 Surprise me sure, don’t kill me

 Everyone knows the ending

 And the beginning is simple

 But innocence

 Has gone to waste

 After all this time

 And in between are questions we seeks answers to

 Until then, the five w’s

 Swirl among my head

 I laid down today

 Needless to say- I didn’t like what my mind had to say

 Are you losing yourself?

 How long till then?

 Remember when?

 Are those tears I feel?

 How often?

 Who cares?

 What will you do?

 Where are you going?

 When will you do what you want to do, when will go where you want to go.

 Why anything?!

 I don’t know.

 It’s the murky waters of my soul

 I feel it slipping, away

 Rest in the peace of yesterday. 

- 

Written 12.4.15 

13 - 100